Creating Connection
A Journey in Empathy and Trust in Everyday Conversations
Most people in your church talk every day. Very few feel deeply connected. Speed, distraction, and misunderstanding chip away at the depth people were made for, and most of them know something's missing even if they can't name it.
Does any of this sound familiar?
- Your small group has been meeting for two years and you still don't know what anyone's actually carrying.
- Someone shares something hard and three people immediately offer solutions.
- The people who talk the most in group are not the people who are known the best.
- Someone told you recently that talking to you feels different lately, and you're not sure what you did.
- You've walked out of a conversation knowing you missed something and not knowing what.
Most people want to be good at this. Very few were ever taught how.
What happens in the course
Your group starts by writing their gut response to two scenarios. They don't know they'll write a second response to those same scenarios at the end. That before-and-after, in their own handwriting, is how they see their own change.
In between, eight volunteers from your group get up and perform the Adverse Advisors: the Interrogator, the General, the Historian, the Judge, the Labeler, the Comforter, the Bumper Sticker, and the Silver Liner. Eight ways people break connection while trying to help.
- The Interrogator
- The General
- The Historian
- The Judge
- The Labeler
- The Comforter
- The Bumper Sticker
- The Silver Liner
They're funny on purpose, because laughter is what lets someone see themselves without shame. Most people in your church have been the Bumper Sticker in a hallway. Most have been silver-lined by someone who meant well.
Then the Don't Listen exercise, where people spend sixty seconds being deliberately ignored by a partner. Uncomfortable, and the point. When they do it again with SOLAR, the contrast teaches more than an explanation could.
The course ends with Conversational Empathy, where people practice the 3 R's on something real from their own life. Not a scripted scenario. This is the moment most participants point to afterward, and many describe it as the first time they've felt understood inside a Christian community.
What your group walks away doing
Love people well- Moving from small talk to meaningful talk
- Recognizing the Adverse Advisors that break connection without meaning to
- Showing warmth through SOLAR, five concrete nonverbal behaviors
- Using the 3 R's: Register feelings, Recognize thoughts, Reflect tentatively
- Reading a situation and knowing whether it calls for information, action, empathy, or a boundary
- Seeing their own shift, measurably, in the Scenarios before-and-after
This isn't communication training. It's learning to love people well in the ordinary moments where relationships actually get built.
Why this course is different
It's practiced discipleship, rooted in Scripture, worked out with other people in the room. Four theological convictions sit underneath it, anchored in Genesis 1:26-27, John 13:35, Proverbs 18:13, and Romans 12:15. The tools behind it have reached more than 800,000 people across 120+ countries.
People open their hearts where they feel understood. That's what makes the rest of discipleship possible.
Who it's for
Anyone in your church longing for deeper, healthier relationships: spouses, small group members, ministry leaders, professionals, anyone who wants to show up with more kindness and clarity.
Two ways to run it
As a half-day intensive, about 4 hours. The group's arc from awkward to real happens in one morning.
As four sessions. Introductions and first breakout. The Adverse Advisors skit. Warmth and SOLAR. Then the full empathy sequence and the Scenarios callback. Between sessions people try the skills on real relationships and come back with something to report.
Same content either way. There's a retreat format too, if your group has a weekend.
Your Course Kit
What's included
- The instructor guide, A full session-by-session walkthrough with word-for-word scripts, timing for every activity, and a Discipleship Lens for each section. Nothing left for you to figure out on your own.
- The slide deck
- Facilitator sheets for the small group leaders in your room
- Participant workbooks, one per person
- Adverse Advisors script cards, one per volunteer
- Scenarios exercise pages
- Quick Reference Guide for each table
- Permission to teach, yours once you own the kit
Can I actually teach this?
Yes. You don't need a counseling background, a seminary degree, or prior teaching experience. The guide is built for a first-time leader, and it includes guidance for the moments that go sideways: when a group goes silent, when someone shares something heavier than expected, when someone pushes back.
Plan on one facilitator per three or four participants, so you're never carrying the room alone.
Want a closer look first? Join us for Leading an Equipping Course, a free session that walks you through what running this looks like before you buy. For a deeper dive once you're ready, keep an eye out for How to Lead an Equipping Course on our events page.
"But what about..."
A class of 8 to 10 runs with 2 or 3 facilitators. The Adverse Advisors skit needs 8 volunteers, which still works at that size since people play a character and sit back down.
If your group wants to sit and listen to a teacher, this will frustrate them. Most of the time is spent practicing out loud with other people.
Pricing
All three courses, each with permission to teach it. This is the whole discipleship arc your church builds toward.
Want to start with just this course? A single-course kit runs $299 for 12, $399 for 25, or $299 digital.
More than 25 in your group? Email us and we'll put together a custom kit and quote.
